Im 16 and my mother and i argue constantly! What do I do?
I am a junior in highschool, I make good grades, I’m a cheerleader (which takes up a lot of time), and I also have a job. I have cheerleading Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. My coach told me I could use the Tuesdays for work. I work almost everyday besides Monday, Thursday, and Friday. I do everything she asks me to do around the house, sometimes I may forget, but I still manage to do them but not when she wanted them done.
I got in trouble this past summer. I went sleep at my ex boyfriends camp and told her i was going to a friends. I lied because she would never let me see this guy and he is the only guy i actually loved. Well i got in trouble and she doesnt trust me which i understand 100%. Its been about two months now since this happened and she has not let back at all.
Around here…if my friends dont have anything going on they usually ride around town JUST TO RIDE NOTHING ELSE and she reffuses to let me do that. Not a big deal! I got home the other night from work I opeened the garage door and forgot to close it when i walked in and she started yelling at me continuously. ONCE AGAIN not a big deal. But, I keep my room spotless and all my friends [i have asked them] think so too. I am a teenage girl a normal teen has a messy room, but seriously mine isnt at all! I fix my bed EVERYDAY. My drawers may get messy sometimes but like yesterday i cleaned them out but my mom thinks my room is HORRIBLE.
Another thing. Last night I was watching One Life to Live with her and she started to hum the background music and i laughed at her as a joke cause we were laughing before and she told me to go to my room and i laughed and she was joking and my dad came up and was as serious as can be and told me to listen to her then i had a text message so i took my phone ouyt my pocket to read it and he took my phone. i didnt do anything and so iwent to my room. i was crying and i kept quiet for a little while and i heard my mom say “David she really didnt do anything” and he said “well do you want me to give her phone back” and she said “no not right now”.
I just dont know what to do she doesnt let me do anything this past week i was out of school because my school was damages due to hurricane gustav and i had a friend over and i went to a friends all week. but after i got unpunished my mom told me she wanted my friends coming to the house more often and thats what i did had my friends over. And at the end of the week she started yelling at me telling me ive been doing to much lately. I just dont know what to do because i hardly ever do anything.
What do i do? Please Help!!
Been there and done that! Something is tell me you are only portraying you side of the ordeal. I am sure that you are leaving out a lot and only giving enough information to make it seem as if you are the victim. Then again what teenager doesn’t? You are at an age in which you want a certain level of independence and what YOU need to realize is that you wont get it. Part of a mother’s job is to nag and rag their children, it is a twisted part of showing just how much she loves you. Especially in today’s society when children are running rampid and there are so many other negative influences out here. You lied and said you were going to a friends, but went somewhere else. What if something had happened, she would have been devastated if something had happened to you. Being the typical teen, your thoughts are, BUT IT DIDNT. Sweetie, we do not live in that society where we can just breeze by the skim of our teeth. Parents have to be more vocal and be more involved. Parents have to put their foot down more often than they actually like to. I’m 29 with 2 children and I NEVER thought I would see the day, in which I have become my mother. DAMMIT, it’s here. And to this day, I thank GOD for the little fights and the BECAUSE I SAID SOs. It has helped me understand just how much she loved me enough to actually parent. Rather than letting me go and living a life of society’s negative influences.
As far as the victim thing! I know, because I’ve done it oh so many times.
well Girl don’t worry rite now shes just mad at you for doing what you did and well eventually she will forgive you shes you’re mother and you’re her daughter and well shell learn to forgive you
u need to let the hurt which u cause heal…always be patient..and let her know that she can trust u… and when one day she has the trust all things will be good again…just let the hurt heal and be nice to her..don’t argue back with her when ever she argues with u…just accept it.And spend more time with u mom.The more closer u get the stronger the trust she will have with u.And finally u must be honest with her in everything..i know its hard but just be honest..that’s the best.
well all the best for u..
You sound completely normal and so does your mother. There is always a certain amount of friction between mothers and their teenage daughters. You sound like a basically good kid who messed up once or twice. What both of you want is respect. Can you show your mother you love and respect her? Do something kind for her. Even a hug can mean a lot to a mother.
I doubt if this will be very much help but I fought with my mother when I was a teenager. Then I fought with my own daughter when she was a teenager. Try talking to your mother about her own teenage years. Maybe she will share some stories with you. It might be a way for her to see things differently when she remembers her own rebellious teenage years.
You are in the very last years at home. Next year you will be a Senior and then out into the cold, cruel world. Try to remember that your parents want only the best for you. Their love and protection is a priceless gift.
Write her a letter saying ‘cut me some slack’.